The Diary of Mercy Thomas

I always wondered what it would take to make Lizzie see reason. I know Isaac sees little difference between us, but Cariadoc is legally bound by the work his father and Demelza did, and would like to do the right thing, whatever that is by now. I don’t think Marcus would know the right thing if it took a bite right out of his arse. He’s never been willing to let Dracaena alone and I don’t know why. She never wanted anything to do with him.

I do hope she’s happy staying with Isaac and Alice, and that Alice doesn’t wring her neck out with the washing in a month or two. (It will at least keep Alice from thinking that I should move in as the gossip with Lizzie will be quite bad enough and Lizzie hasn’t a Reputation on top of it all.) I know it’ll be a long, long time before Lizzie is happy about separating from Marcus—but this is the only safe thing for Anne and Kathleen. I don’t know if anything can still be done for Bill, but if anyone can, it’s Isaac.

Arianwen told me he taunted Florian in the Goblins Market in June or July, she wasn’t sure which, and then that Florian had been responsible for the mysterious appearance of bat droppings in his bed in August. It reminded me of nothing so much as the way that Marcus went after Dracaena, and Bill and Florian are the same age they were when it started.

Of course Bill is in for a shock, because Florian is not as ‘delicate’ as Dracaena was as a child.

I showed Cariadoc the pictures of Magister Kyteler and his mistress from the Herald. Their little girl is beautiful and Hadrian Kyteler is almost as handsome as Llewellyn is. They caught him kissing Henry Dashwood’s son outside the necessary room at that eatery. I suppose it’s better than being caught doing God-knows-what inside the necessary room (which is what I’d have expected of Lew, before Bobby Macmillan came down the pike). Bobby is very kind and a gentle touch with the animals, but he is bloody daft, and yet not thick enough to let Poppaea’s blows glance off. They went riding this morning.

Henry Dashwood must be fuming; I know he loathes Kyteler. But he’s never got on with his son, has he? Well, Dashwood’s son is brave enough to strike out with nothing…but I suppose he can, since he won’t have to support a family. Funny how none of Poppaea’s friends ever seem to get on with their children.

Cariadoc is annoyed, but I think I’m perfectly justified in comparing myself to Lavinia Scalara. There is no reason he and Poppaea shouldn’t separate. I’m over forty and would like to have a baby all my own, no matter what it can or can’t inherit. But I knew what things were going to be like when I came back, and I also know that if I leave I won’t stay gone.

I saw her die; I saw Julian Delgardie kill her. I thought for sure that we’d be reading Nico Malaspina’s obit any day now. But Cariadoc says she’s come back, somehow, that we’ve been summoned to her court and that there isn’t any doubt it’s her.

I know…but I told myself…it’s a sort of miracle, really. I didn’t believe this would happen.

And now we are all going down there, and I really haven’t the first thought what to do. I’m glad she’s back. Poppaea…

It’s going to be a long day. And a longer one for Arianwen and Lew. Yvon is going to bring Arianwen up from Londinium; maybe she won’t have to stay.

Poppaea has gone off to visit Gemma Dee, Arianwen is volunteering at St Pally’s, and Lew is up in the Highlands with Bobby Macmillan. Cariadoc and I have the place to ourselves. Things could certainly be a lot worse.

It’s rather ironic, given that Alice has taken one of her ‘what was your favourite colour again? we’re redoing the guest rooms again, you know’ moods.

If Poppaea is really grieving her sister, then I am Queen Gwenhwyfar. Eight years ago she testified for Carmela in front of the Moot, saying that Dracaena had ensorcelled Ercole Malaspina in Roma, got his power of attorney by guile and tried to destroy his marriage, and that Ercole had tried to return to Carmela and Dracaena had cursed him for leaving her. She hated Dracaena. And Mathers just sat there and smiled, though we all knew it was shite, and Nicodemo called her a fucking liar in the most politely devastating language I have ever heard and pointed out that even if Dracaena had put a love spell on Ercole in 1922, she'd been with him since '31 (and I think it was really much earlier than that)! And Dracaena politely told me that the only reason she didn't do an excision was that it would affect Lew and Ari. (And I wish she had. I would have adopted Lew and Ari.)

Mrs Scalara was right not to want her in the circle and it is really too bad she is not a better shot. I don't believe for a minute that Poppaea is grieving, and I am glad she didn't see whatever happened out there that they're all not talking about.

Poor Dracaena. May the gods heal her poor tortured soul. I hope she made it into Elysium, because I really don't think Nico will be here much longer.

I can remember when this kind of behaviour from Poppaea was actually surprising. Cariadoc, Arianwen and Lew are heartbroken, and she’s discussing betrothals at her sister’s memorial service. If she can’t pretend she’s not a friend of Carmela García and that she actually cares what happened to Dracaena, she ought to have stayed home. But that would mean allowing me to appear in public with Cariadoc.

I really don’t know how it is that I manage never to slip her anything worse than a sleeping draught.